Rated: NR

Running Time: 98 Minutes

Year: 2000

Boobs: 1 Maybe 2?

One Sentence:  This is Rock and Roll Jet-Movie!!!

I was at a bar with a friend and this bar had TV sets.  We had just walked in and there was a movie on.  It was Japenese we could tell that, and in it there were, lazy shooting zombies, space ships, motorcycles, people screaming Rock and Roll, explosions, rocket launchers and then the movie ended.  This was about a 5 minute part of the movie.  So obviously this movie was probably the best movie ever made. 

My friend set out to find out what it was and found it to be Wild Zero, The Rock And Roll Jet-Movie!  It is available to rent on Netflix and rent we did.  The next one and a half hours were filled with ladyboys, short shorts on men, flames, zombies, rock and roll, blood and poses, oh so many poses.   A low budget movie with a rock band known in Japan and led by a man named Guitar Wolf.  

This movie is bad on so many levels, but in that totally awesome Japanese explosion type of way.  It also came with a drinking game right in the DVD that you can play and get drunk on.  This movie is to the max in so many ways, and if this type of thing sounds good to you, you will love wild zero, and I can't stress enough the drinking game on the DVD.  I suggest you get it and scream Rock And Roll at the screen!   

Rated: R 

Running Time: 99 minutes

Year: 1996

Boobs: 4 pairs

One Sentence:  Even this was below B grade.

As I say I write for the people not for critics.  So that means I must watch anything because some people might like B grade horror movies.  I know I do.  So I got a chance to see Satanic Yuppies.  I know you all are jealous of my deep range of movie watching abilities.  Most would never gotten through this one, but I force myself out of sheer will so that I can come back and write this for you. 

I think this movie might have been made with a home video camera.  When I was in high school and a little bit afterward, my friends and I would take a VHS camera, grab a box of shitty suits, horrible wigs, and fake guns and make movies.  We would shoot all night and then laugh at the horrible movie we made around dawn.  Satanic Yuppies, was worse than those movies in almost all ways.  The acting was worse, except for [tag]Amber Newman[/tag].   The quality of film and lighting was worse.  The sets were worse and the costumes were worse.  The only thing better was that they got some girls to get naked, but it really wasn't worth the pain of the 94 other minutes that wasn't filled with some naked girl.  

They failed at all the B movie things that would make it a great B movie.  The girls played it way too serious, even though the acting was horrible for B grade.  There was not nearly enough blood.  There was no humor, there were jokes they just were not funny.  The nudity wasn't nearly gratuitous enough, except for one girl that wasn't even in the movie but just danced around a fire.  I just didn't feel it as a B movie or as a real horror movie.  Totally skippable.  They get 2 stars for the gratuitousness of the one girl that was dancing by the fire, and satan who was pretty good.