One Sentence: Visually beautiful and good family fun.

Rated: PG

Nudity: None

After Credits: During

So when this movie was coming out I thought to myself.  I remember liking Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs, but I hardly remember it.  I don’t think that it especially mattered, but I at least wanted a recap or something.  Well, I guess the people making the movie thought the same thing, because the first few minutes of the movie is a recap.  I think this by itself is enough to give high marks on this movie.  They do it for TV and that is only a week between episodes, not years.  Why don’t they do this all the time.   I could get used to it, if it is fit into the movie in some way, like it was in Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2.

I got into part 2, just as much as I think I did with the first.  It was funny, cute, and all those things that it needs to have for the kids and parents both to have a good time.  They delivered on the 3-D as an animated movie should.   It was all great.  The things that stood out to me were the creative animal food hybrids they made.  They were amazing to look at, how they were created, and a lot of them were super cute.   It just was a fun easy movie to watch that the whole family will enjoy.

One Sentence: The best crime thriller since Silence Of The Lambs.

Rated: R

Nudity: None

After Credits: None

I started writing reviews because I love movies.  I watch so many and have a point of view that I think some other people might be interested in.  If I was going to look at what really made me start writing reviews though, it was that I just love movies.  Lately I have been feeling like I am losing my connection to movies, that everything has been dumbed down, or I am just not feeling what I used to about movies.  Then I saw Prisoners and I remember why I love movies.

Let’s use the buzz words first.  Powerful, real, emotional, gripping, edge of your seat…etc.  Put in all those words that you would see on the previews and posters, this movie is those things.  It is rare that I think a movie is so far and ahead of every movie that has come out the same year.  Prisoners is that movie.

I left the theater, I forgot my hat, that I had taken off because I kept running my fingers though my hair.  I got home and needed to lie down on the bed and just relax for a minute, I was so tired, and worn out from the heavy breathing and intensity of watching every second of this amazing movie by first time studio release director, Denis Villeneuve.

This is one of those movies that will be around forever.  It will be the type of movie everyone talks about 20 years later, and gets their friends who have never seen it to watch it.  They will make the ones that wanted to skip it because they don’t like those types of movies watch it anyway, because it is just that good.  It is an amazing, wonderful,  masterpiece.  Go see it, as soon as your possibly can.

One Sentence: It was like Phantom Menace and Stargate had an ugly baby and named it John Carter.

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: 09-Mar-2012

Nudity: None

I was hopeful.  It was a Disney 3-D movie that looked like they threw a lot of money at.  I am sure it is at least pretty good.  Fun, creating a new franchise I might care about a little.  Maybe it will be so popular that it will show up in the parks later as a ride or something.  Trips to Mars.  Fun things like that.  I was so hopeful, and so very very wrong.

Ugh, it was sooo long and soo boring.  This movie is almost 2 and half hours long.  There are so many conversations about these things they don’t explain very well.  This blue light thing, which I still don’t get why it was important.  Which doesn’t make sense, since all they do in the whole movie is talk about things.  Lets stop and have this conversation or that conversation.  The action is weak and not exciting.  The CG is mediocre, and I just don’t care about you John Carter, you are unlikeable, and I don’t like you.  The 3-D was very weak, it wasn’t bad and take away from the movie, I just didn’t notice it being used at all.  I could of done without the 3-D.  You really don’t need it.

It is with regret that I must say that John Carter is a dud.  I am having a hard time finding anything I liked about it.  You don’t need to pay to see it and you for sure do not need to pay for it in 3-D.  This is not Disney’s next great movie or franchise.  I would skip it completely.

One Sentence: Not the fun type of part movie.

Rated: R

Release Date: 02-Mar-2012

Nudity: Lots of boobs.

When I left the theater after watching Project X, I let out a sign of relief.  The stress was finally over.  I could let it go.  This party wasn’t a good time.  Maybe it is my nerdy, orderly personality, but I wasn’t thinking about the sex, or drugs, or alcohol.  I was thinking about the house, and the neighbors, and the destruction.  I was fearful of the kids, and as I write this sentence I realize I am fucking old, and this movie wasn’t made for me.

Project X is a Cloverfield style movie about the chaos that ensues when 3 high school kids throw a party.  It has almost no plot, is not shot very well, and is only humurous to the point of a slight smile.  It gets into some scary dark areas and made me feel uncomfortable, not like I was having a good time.  I didn’t like the kids, didn’t like the “romantic,” storyline, and just wanted it to be over.  I really didn’t have a fun time watching it.  I felt like it was perfect for the 18-25ers, but this one was just not for me.  It was the extreme reality version of Superbad with no one you cared about, and not nearly as funny.

I think most of you could skip this movie.  I don’t think there is much here for anyone.  It feels forced and that it is attempting to be cool, and on trend, and by doing so, feels too fake and overdone.  I personally wouldn’t even rent this one, but I think some of you might like it, so if you think it looks good, I would wait for it and get this one at home.  No need to pay full price.

One Sentence: A visual treat.

Rated: PG

Release Date: 02-Mar-2012

Nudity: None

Whoever was the person who gave this movie it’s look.  The color choices, the eyes on the characters, the faces, the city.  Taking Dr Seuss’ book and converting it into the 3-D movie I saw this weekend is a genius.  They understand what we like, like to see and has the ability to paint an amazing moving picture that is visually stunning.  I just loved the way this movie looked, I loved it so much that I might have missed out that the movie could be a little too wordy.  My gf said it was boring.  I just didn’t notice because every minute of the movie I was taking in every inch of the beauty on screen.

I wouldn’t say this animated movie was very funny.  Traditioanlly they are quite funny, or at least attempting to be funny.  This movie didn’t seem to go that route and that could be why I am hearing that others thought it was boring.  It stuck more to the book and the story.  Telling the tale about the trees and nature and beauty.  So while it might not follow the other movies that have come before doesn’t mean it wasn’t a good movie.  I thought it was great and I think it is a great movie for the family.  You just might need to change your idea of what you are going to see when you check this movie out this weekend.

I would take everyone this weekend to check out The Lorax in 3-D.  I thought it was a great movie for everyone.  I think it is well worth the price in 3-D and is one of the best visual experiences every created in 3-D.  I hope you like it as much as I did.

One Sentence: You have been lied to a lot about this movie.

Rated: R

Release Date: 24-Feb-2012

Nudity: Some, lots of penis.  Jennifer Aniston is not naked even though she has been claiming it in interviews.

I am pretty upset about this movie overall.  I am upset about the marketing.  I am upset about Jennifer Aniston going around saying she was filmed naked and it was amazing and liberating. She might have been filmed naked, but you are not going to see that in the movie.  I am upset that they are trying to sell the slow-motion action nudity, as sexy, when it is actually a bunch of overweight people over the age of 50 running in slow motion to get every jiggle for comedic effect.  I am upset that scenes from the trailers were not in the movie.  I think this movie is the worst offender of being lied to in marketing for a movie I have ever experienced.  Then on top of that it isn’t that good.

It is a far more negative movie than you are expecting.  I was expecting a fun, goofy movie about hippies and new life experiences, which it does do.  However it also gets really dark in some parts, and really creepy in others.  It uses gross scenes for an attempt at comedy that can be funny once but it just keeps beating it into you over and over again.  I did think it was funny in some parts and I was laughing, but there are other scenes where I was squirming in my seat and it wasn’t in a fun way.  When the movie ended I was relieved it was over, and I wasn’t impressed with what I saw.

I am not very happy with Wanderlust or whoever is trying to sell this movie right now.  I don’t think it is good enough to pay for and obviously so does everyone trying to sell it since they have to make up things about it to make it seem better than it is.  I would stay away from Wanderlust.  I don’t even think it is good enough for a rental.  What a let down.

One Sentence: Not as hard to watch as The Notebook.

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: 10-Feb-2012

Nudity: Man Butt

This weekend is the weekend all men fear.  They fear Valentine’s Day, are they doing it right, did they do the right thing, they have to go see The Vow.  I understand the fear.  A movie about love and memory loss.  Your significant other crying next to you as you stare at the screen and wonder am I supposed to be crying too?  That is the picture men are painting in their head about this movie, but I think all you guys out there will be surprised at the connection to this movie.

If you are going to this movie on Valentine’s Day then you probably at least like the person you are going with, and The Vow hits the right spots in the question of what would you do without the person you love.  They do it in a way that doesn’t feel forced on you.  You are not tricked into feeling, you just do.  You understand the story, the pain the love and the loss.  It works very well and isn’t the cheesiest thing you will see this year.  I liked this movie very much and thought that I could be seeing much worse things.  Like When In Rome.  It doesn’t hurt that I really like Rachel McAdams and she was great in this movie just like she always is.

So be thankful, this movie is good and it could be a lot worse.  Yes it is a sappy movie, and it might make the person you are with cry, but this is a well done movie.  It might make you appreciate the person you are with a little more, love them a little more.  It might make you a little happier you are together on Valentine’s Day.

One Sentence: Better than Journey 1 for sure.

Rated: PG

Release Date: 10th Feb 2012

Nudity: None

After the debacle that was the first Journey To The Center Of The Earth, I was not excited about seeing Journey 2 the return of the cash grab.  Everything about this movie seemed less than it’s horrible predecessor, save for Michael Caine and Dwyane Johnson.  I have gotten that same response from anyone I talk to about this movie as well.  It is just not something people are excited about.   Hopefully I can change the mind of those with families at least.

Journey 2 is at the very least a solid, cute, fun family 3-D movie that has a good enough story for you to make it through the whole movie with your 8 year old.  Everything about this movie was better than the previous movie.  It was funny in the parts it was meant to be funny in.  It had solid action and CG to support that action.  It had a solid adventure story that if you are willing to suspend disbelief can carry you through the movie.  The 3-D was pretty good, because it was a dedicated 3-D movie from the start of filming.  Dwayne Johnson was great in this movie and delivered his great balance of action and nice guy.  It wasn’t just a cash grab, it felt like the people in this movie actually cared, and they delivered a solid product that I am recommending to all of you families out there.

This is a great movie for everyone to go see this weekend in the theater for a matinee.  I think without the kids this is a renter if you have a secret love for The Rock and want to see anything he is in.  It might be worth seeing in the theater in 3-D if you are a super fan of 3-D.  If you don’t love 3-D then I think this is a Sunday afternoon renter, but I wouldn’t shy away for this one if you like family adventures.

One Sentence: I do not remember this story in 1988.

Rated: PG

Release Date: 03-Feb-2012

Nudity: None

I think just about everyone already knows if they want to see Big Miracle or not.  You already know how the movie is going to end, and you already know how the movie will play out.  The great thing about a movie like this is, it doesn’t matter if you know the ending or the feel of the movie, if you want to see it, you will see it.  So if you are going to go see Big Miracle you will be happy to know it is exactly what you want it to be.

I do not think Big Miracle is going to win any awards or any thing like that, but it is a sweet little movie that I think will deliver exactly what you want.  Whiles, rescue, family based comedy, ice and uplifting music.  It really does what it is supposed to do.  So while it isn’t that unexpected it is at least well put together.  I can’t find any fault in that.  It is rare that I think a movie delivers what it is advertising and even the name Big Miracle seems to deliver here.

I think this movie is a perfect Sunday afternoon movie.  The type of movie that will end up on cable for the next 20 years.  I have no problems recommending it to people to see this weekend, but I wouldn’t pay full price for it.  Go have fun with your guilty please whale movie.  It is worth it.  You don’t have to tell anyone you are going.

One Sentence: The ghosts from Hogwarts got mean.

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: 03-Feb-2012

Nudity: None

The Woman In Black is a February horror movie.  Starring Daniel Radcliffe it has some things going for it and some things that are standing against it.  First February horror movies in general are bad.  They are not good enough to make it into the Halloween movies.  But if has Harry Potter in his first real movie since The Deathly Hallows Part 2, so I think people will be curious just for that reason.  I hope I can alleviate some of that curiosity in this review, but I have a feeling I am not going to be very much help.

The Woman In Black is a scary movie in many parts of the movie.  It has creepy moments, jumpy moments and some really scary imagery.  It also has a horrible conclusion, weak character development and some weak attempts at other scary moments.  Pretty much it is all over the place, and you might be ok with it, or you might hate it.  I am leaning toward not liking the movie.  The scary parts were not enough to save it from the weak story and horrible ending.  Which is unfortunate because I wanted to like this movie and tell everyone to go see it.

Daniel Radcliffe was fine as Arthur Kipps, a single man trying to cope after his wife’s death.  I think he held his own and I never though that he is just Harry Potter trying to act in another movie.  I think he held his own and I am hopeful that he will see more work after this movie.

I think you should skip this one.  I know supernatural horror is so rare now and that you almost are willing to go see anything that is in the genre, but this movie is just not good enough to spend money on.  I wouldn’t rent it either I don’t think.  Hopefully Harry Potter will have something better soon.