The Ultimate Earthquake Experience

Take a cave that was created by a major earthquake 35 million years ago. 38 subwoofers. 50,000 Watts of power. And the movie Earthquake and you have The Ultimate Earthquake Experience. We were invited by The Alamo Drafthouse to visit Wonder World in San Marcos Texas. A cave built by a Huge Earthquake 35 million years ago. We got to tour the cave and the surrounding areas, and then view Earthquake the movie. How could this not be the best thing ever created by The Alamo Drafthouse since the Homestar Runner live show the night before. Let's find out if it was! We showed up after a long trek from Austin along back woods roads in San Marcos to Wonder World, a world of wonder and amazment where I was promised a cave! and Deer! This was going to be a fun fun trip and I was excited. Lib was more excited than me, but she was nervous about her impending doom to come from the earthquake!!!! I was ready for action however! After we found out we could not go anywhere without having a tour guide we went back into the nicely stocked gift shop only to find out the most recent tour was leaving. We hurredly ran down the stairs and were greeted by our tour guide, who must have been raised in the bowels of Texas as she had the a very heavy Texas accent, one I have not heard much living in Austin. We were put into the scary bowels of a cave and learned that the room we were in is where the owner, Mr Butters, or something played poker with his friends. It was in the ground and neat. There was water dripping and it was a bit cooler than the 95 degrees outside.

Our Tour Guide inside the cave weilding Flash Light! After we learned a bit about the poker room, one of the nice ladies in our group decided it would be a good idea to rapidly pick up her daughter or child or neice, or whatever, without reguard to the hardness 9 (on a scale of 10, thats what the tour guide girl said) limestone, and banged this kids head against the rocks. So for the next 20 minutes we got to hear the child cry. But I was not upset as we were going deeper into the cave! SCARY! The temp was getting cooler and it was actually very nice in there. We learned more about the cave and such and found out what total darkness is, as she turned out the lights. Wanna know what it is like? It is dark!

The Dark Room As we were nearing the end, Tim League Owner of The Alamo Drafthouse asked our expert tour guide, whom had been working there since May 2005! if it was possible a great outside vibration could cause another earthquake, and we were quickly assured that it was not possible. But you could never know, this was 50,000 watts of power!!!! Next was the 110 foot observation tower, this was the same height as we were deep in the cave to give you prespective, however they don't tell you that, you go straight from the cave to the top of the tower. Now I am not saying I am afraid of heights, as I went up the tower, but I will say I am afraid of old ass rickety elevators filled to the brim with people, and a transition from 150 feet below the surfact to 110 feet above it. I stayed in the middle of the tower, as lib went to the 150 peak to take some pics. I swear that thing was made with toothpics and spit, and was swaying in the wind! But I guess we were pretty deep in the ground, becuase I felt high up.

View from the tower! Next on our toured guide of Wonder World was the Anti-Gravity Room! Which I have been in a few before…as they are amazing places where the laws of gravity cease to exist! Or exist differently. As our tour guide made balls and water go uphill! You have not lived until you have seen this! We have proof even as we were able to snap a few pics of us floating against the laws of nature themselves!

Anti-Gravity! As we pressed on, I know you are thinking there is more? How on earth could you handle all this. Yes, there is more! We next were goign to go on a train ride through the animal area, where we would see DEER! and turkeys! and peacocks, in mating season! We also got to buy Deer Food, for .81 cents. We purchased one deer food. The train wasn't really a train, it was a tractor, shaped like a train that drove on the street, but that didn't ruin my fun, we got to drive straight though a waterfall, it was amazing!

Waterfall! After our trip through the deer and almost being killed by an organized turkey attack, it was time for purchases! To prove that we did in fact go to Wonder World! As no one would believe us otherwise. We looked for our standard magnet, which is what we usually get, but we could not find those. We found some light up rocks, and some dreamcatchers, but not much else. Then we found the perfect items, and would have gotten them except we didn't have any money, and they cost way too much. But we took pics so you could see.

Wonder World Hats! Now it was time for the true event! THE ULTIMATE EARTHQUAKE EXPERIENCE! We took our picnic of sandwiches, grapes, wine, and brownies and planted a seat for the 1974 classic! I was pumped! Lib was nervous! People were drunk! There was a guy eating church's chicken on the ground with no blanket, as he obviously was not prepared for this event. The sun was setting and it was time!

I do have to say the movie itself was only ok. It was not that great of a plot and mostly was just filler for the Earthquake itself, which I am sure for 1974 was a special effects marvel. It was pretty well done, some good model work and a lot of crashing items onto people's head. I was believing this was happening right in the middle of LA, but what made me blieve it was the raw power from the subs shaking my bones! It was awesome, it hurt your head and your ears but you could not get away from it, it rattled things and made the peacocks go crazy, I think that if we had run it for very much longer our hearts might have exploded, but then it ended, the earthquake was over, and we were alive. In the end, we got complaints from 2.5 miles away and the police shut down the subs after about half way though the movie. It was a success I feel and well worth the trip. Me and Lib had a great time and another Rolling Roadshow had been delivered! 4 out of 5 for this one! Very fun times! All the pics from the trip can be viewed here!

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