Purple Rain

Rated: R Running Time: 111 Minutes Year: 1984 Boobs: One Pair One Sentence: This is what it sounds like when I cry. We have not seen the 80's pic in a while, but thanks to Lib, we are seeing it today, for the Prince inspired/starring film, Purple Rain. Now I am pretty sure that I have seen some or all of Purple Rain before, I remember that I think this was the first movie I ever heard the word Motherfucker in, and I also remember seeing the naked girl jumping in a lake scene. I would suspect my mom rented it, as she loved prince in the 80's. I guess I don't remember much more than the boobies, and the profanity from my previous viewing and now I can see why. Who's bright idea is it to give musicians roles in movies. Does it ever work out? Ok, I am going to revoke that statement, because I am sure some of you will pull Lyle Lovett or someone else out of your ass and I will have to backtrack. So let's start over. Who's bright idea is it to give musicians who suck at acting, parts in movies. Not only do we have Prince and the whole entire Revolution, who make me cringe with ever faked, forced emotion, but then on top of that we have Morris Day and the Time, another whole band, who again CAN NOT ACT! Luckily they got a Los Angeles Rams Cheerleader to play the love interest. Wouldn't want an actress to fill that spot either. What all of this means, is that even if the dialogue was not horrible, and that the plot wasn't bullshit, then this movie would still completely suck balls. However because on top of it's annoying characters, and lame plot, we have Prince, king of wackjobs trying to show that he is in pain, or in love, or having sex, or riding his motorcycle, or walking around in that puffy shirt. This movie is really pushing into my top 10 worst movies of all time. The reason why it gets such an esteemed title, is because this movie was not a joke, and everyone in it, was in it as a serious film. I am all into makign crap if you know you are making crap, but this is crap trying to be sold as gold. However instead it just comes off as some purple crud from the sewer.

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