The 300 Spartans

The 300 Spartins Poster

Rated: NR

Running Time: 114 Minutes

Year: 1962

Boobs: Zero

One Sentence:  It's like 300, except not cool in any way.

I have to watch it.  You just have to see it, to know, to get the knowledge of the past.  How movies were made, and where we have come from.  That does not mean I have to like it.  I do not like classics much.  I just find them to be horribly overacted, poorly put together, and generally boring.  I am a product of my environment, and I usually can not get into older movies.  The 300 Spartans is no exception.   

The story which has been told to most of us a million times in the last 2 months on The History Channel, Wikipedia, and every internet movie blog in English, is retold once again in The 300 Spartans.  Where "A handful of men forming the invincible 'Flying Wedge'  against a killer horde five million strong!"   While I saw what they were trying to do, and they did seem to give the perception of a lot more of the Persian Army than the Spartan force.  After seeing what we see now with CG, it seemed like 80 Spartans vs.  300 Persians with wicker shields.   

The whole movie seemed to be a horrible retelling of everything that happened, from the King and his Spartans, to a side story about a marriage of a young couple.  The evil Xerxes who was about as intimidating as the Greek women in this movie to the battle of the Immortals, with their wicker shields and foam spears.  To the final stand of the rest of the Spartans, and the twigs that I think were arrows that killed them.  

Bad male centric acting and horrible story lines of romance, and honor left me bored, and hoping it would end soon.  Battle scenes that looked like a bunch of guys running around a dirt field confused about who was supposed to fight who and the 10's of dead on the field left me wondering where the the 5 million or 1 million for that matter.  There was nothing in it, that provided new or exciting points of view about the battle, the Greeks and Persians, or any aspect of the story.  If you wanted more 300, this isn't going to do it for you I think, and is not something you should seek out.   

2 stars 

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