Spider-Man 3

Spider-Man 3 poster

Rated: PG-13

Running Time: 140 Minutes

Year: 2007

Boobs: Zero

One Sentence: 1 villian and 1 dance scene too long.

Ok so I have this idea for Spider-Man 3.  Let's take the most popular Spider-Man Villan of our target demographic age group, and let's slim him down to a secondary villan with no effect on the story line of the movie.  I think that this will do good for us.  Actually I mean we could put spider-man up against Strawberry Shortcake and we would make a shit ton of money so let's just do whatever we want.  

Ok, I am harshing this movie a bit too much, because this is not a bad movie, and if it was by itself and you had not seen Spider-Man 1 and 2, this would be a pretty good movie.  However you did see them, and they do exist and this movie is the worst of the 3 movies.  However as the third of 3, you know that you have a 90% chance of being the worst.  That is based off statistics I just made up.  

Too many villains, too many subplots, too much story trying to fit into 140 minutes.  This is what I think they should have done.  No Sandman, keep the goblin story almost exact, and make Brock/Venom the only villain.  This would have saved time, and I think been the better movie.  They had so much filler going on, so much junk and relationship stuff, and villian subplots, and the black suit, and this and that and the other.  It was drowned by wanting to cram so much in, because this could be the last one, so we gotta do everything we can.  It made it thin everywhere, and just not awesome at all.   Also I thought sandman was totally lame. 

The acting was ok, I think Tobey did the best out of all of them.  The character's were so non-threatening and then they filliped a switch and became bad.  It was instant changes in everyone and felt very unnatural.  Also Mary Jane Watson was a total evil cunt.  I am not going to tell my boyfriend the information that he needs to understand me, and then I am going to be mad that he doesn't understand me.  Screw you redheaded girl.  Your behavior was rude, and uncalled for.  

If you are waiting to avoid the crowds, then you are not a hardcore fan and I think you can wait for it on DVD.   It doesn't ruin the other movies, and it isn't bad, it is just not the awesome third you were hoping it would be. 

 3 stars

  • Definitely NOT awesome. I could have joined the lady who spent 25 minutes in the restroom and felt like I didn’t miss a thing. Not horrible, though, and some of the scenes were fun… but some of the scenes were also incredibly drawn out & pointless.

    3 stars!

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