Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus

Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus Poster

Rated: R

Running Time: 90 Minutes

Release Date: 26-May-2009

Nudity: None

One Sentence: Most disappointing movie I have ever seen

I was excited about watching this movie. I love bad, cheesy movies. With a title like that and a cast starring Lorenzo Lamas and Debbie Gibson (correction, Deborah Gibson), I thought I was in for a fun and hilarious time. Sadly, the trailers were the best part of the whole damn movie. 

I am about to tell you everything that happened in this movie so you feel no need to see it what so ever. *SPOILER ALERT* Mega shark(Megladon) and giant octopus get unfrozen due to a snafu caused by the government's secret mission (which never gets explained fully, but who cares). Debbie is an oceanographer who gets fired for taking a joy ride with her company's submarine. Before getting fired, she found a large tooth in a dead whale. To figure out the mystery, she teams up with her old Irish professor named Lamar (wtf, is that a real Irish name?). He brings in a scientist from Japan where they are being attacked by a giant octopus. 
Lorenzo Lamas is the government authority who threatens to use nukes to solve the problem. Lots of snide comments about the government are made, blah blah blah.
Debbie and the Japenese scientist "fall in love" suddenly and it makes her realize that pheromones are the answer to saving the world from mega shark and giant octopus. Then there is the montage of all three with beakers of different colored fluids and lots of failed attempts until they create one that glows yellow.
They decide to try to lure the monsters to separate areas where they can trap and study them. The government tries to kill them instead. They argue. Zzzzzz…
After this there is lots of dialogue, lots of Lorenzo being a dick, lots of shaky camera, and the threat of being eaten by the shark and/or squeezed to death by the octopus. I was rooting for the shark and octopus. This movie was so boring that I had to pause it to take a nap at this point. It has the most non-intensive, intense moments I have ever seen. 
After multiple failed attempts at killing them, they realize the two monsters were in a fight to the death when they were originally frozen. So all they need to do is lure them a safe area where they can finish their fight. This is where I thought this movie might get good. It's an incredibly low budget movie and I figured they were saving up the good CGI for the big death match, but no. Lots of dark, hard to see, tentacles wrapped around a shark. A couple scenes where the shark bites off a tentacle and lots of blood that hides the two. Another shot of the octopus swimming away with all limbs in tact (I guess the tentacles grow back faster than I thought. Oh wait, no). I am going to tell you the end so you don't feel even the slightest need to watch this movie: They die. Not Debbie and crew unfortunately. Just mega shark and giant octopus in a very lack luster and boring scene.
This is the most disappointing movie I have ever seen. C'mon! MEGA SHARK vs. GIANT OCTOPUS! This should have been awesome!
There are very few movies that really get under my skin and make me angry. This is now one of them because it was so damn disappointing. Way to go movie makers!
Some might argue that they did the best they could do with the budget they were given. I say crap to that! They should not have attempted this movie if they didn't have enough movie to make it as awesome as it should have been. 
To sum up, DO NOT waste your time watching this movie. Watch the trailer. It shows the best parts of the movie, I promise you. I wish I could get the 1 hour and 30 minutes of my life back.

1 Star

RSS Feed

Click the feed icon to join the feed!

Or enter your email to subscribe:


Old Reviews