Octopussy – James Bond January

Octopussy Movie Review Poster


Roger Moore is Bond once again, now in his 10th year as Bond and an age of 55 years old, he is showing it for sure.  We start seeing a lot more stunt doubles in Octopussy, a lot of shots of the back of his head or obstructed views to allow for his stand in's to not be seen.  As far as James Bond the character, he is intuitive and handles things with ease in Octopussy.  Bond never feels like he is off step or behind on his game.  Breaking into a military base, dressing up as a clown or swinging like Tarzan across the trees is no problem for the aging Bond.  Sadly all these things, plus a unstoppable reign of one liners helped make this the cheesiest performance of Bond ever.  

Bond Girls:

The first minor girl is an amazingly beautiful exotic woman who shows off her "talents" to get the attention of guards to help Bond in the beginning of the movie.  She is one of the most attractive girls I think in all of the Bond movies, but is quickly gone after the opening credits never to be heard from again.  Magda is the second girl, Octopussy's right hand woman.  She has a 80's look to her, but it is not over done, she is elegant, sexy, and smart.  She can fight, and hold her own.  She is a great Bond girl, I liked her very much.  The third is of course Octopussy herself, a leader of an island of deadly women who help her with her smuggling operations. She also owns a traveling circus, which a lot of this movie is based around.  She is rocking that older power lady thing, but it doesn't work for me.  I am not a fan of her action parts, love making, or acting. 


Russians!  Again!  This time the guy who played the bad guy in Beverly Hills Cop, is the Bad guy.  He is a Russian General set on getting Western Europe to lower their nuclear arsenal so that he can roll his tank divisions over and take over the rest of Europe. He has gone rogue as this is against the Russian leaders wishes.  Here we start to see some hinting that all Russians might not be all bad, but they still are not to be trusted.  The threat is a nuclear bomb on a circus train that goes across the border into Western Germany to blow up.  I like this idea slightly more than the last few Russian threats that seemed like just Russian propaganda.  This is a psychopath, with a plan, and an agenda going outside of what his country wishes.  These was also something about fake jewels but I never understood what they were talking about. 


Well the first one is something we all wanted, but realized that the screen is just too small.  An LCD TV watch.  Just 30 years later and any of use could have this, we just don't want it.  There is also a mini jet, the size of a small car.  An submarine that looks like an alligator for Bond to fit into. A saw blade Yo-Yo and a fountain pen that shoots acid, with a radio receiver in the other end to listen to conversations.  The watch is the big star here, seeing it, reminded me of that dream of having a TV on a watch, and I think its funny now, how now we know thats just too small, and our smart phones are good enough. 


Wow, this movie is bad.  From the acting, to the clowns, circus theme, Indian stereotypes, one liners, and Octopussy, it just felt like a horrible attempt at a Bond movie by another production company.  (See my article on that story coming up later today) I hated almost everything about this movie.  I didn't get what the deal with the fake jewelry was, there was a clown fight, Bond is aging, no cool cars, I could just go on and on about how bad this movie was.  After For Your Eyes Only I didn't think it could get much worse, but Octopussy is now in my opinion the worst Bond movie.  

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