John Carter Movie Review

John Carter Movie Review Poster

One Sentence: It was like Phantom Menace and Stargate had an ugly baby and named it John Carter.

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: 09-Mar-2012

Nudity: None

I was hopeful.  It was a Disney 3-D movie that looked like they threw a lot of money at.  I am sure it is at least pretty good.  Fun, creating a new franchise I might care about a little.  Maybe it will be so popular that it will show up in the parks later as a ride or something.  Trips to Mars.  Fun things like that.  I was so hopeful, and so very very wrong.

Ugh, it was sooo long and soo boring.  This movie is almost 2 and half hours long.  There are so many conversations about these things they don’t explain very well.  This blue light thing, which I still don’t get why it was important.  Which doesn’t make sense, since all they do in the whole movie is talk about things.  Lets stop and have this conversation or that conversation.  The action is weak and not exciting.  The CG is mediocre, and I just don’t care about you John Carter, you are unlikeable, and I don’t like you.  The 3-D was very weak, it wasn’t bad and take away from the movie, I just didn’t notice it being used at all.  I could of done without the 3-D.  You really don’t need it.

It is with regret that I must say that John Carter is a dud.  I am having a hard time finding anything I liked about it.  You don’t need to pay to see it and you for sure do not need to pay for it in 3-D.  This is not Disney’s next great movie or franchise.  I would skip it completely.

1 Star Movie Review

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