Battleship Movie Review

Battleship Movie Review Poster

One Sentence: It’s a movie.

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: Does it really matter?

Nudity: None

So this movie is based on a board game where you randomly say a number on a grid and hope that you hit the enemy.  I have seen the new updated version of Battleship, “The Movie Edition,” at the store that has you shooting randomly at alien ships over the water.  So it is only natural that in the movie, there will be a scene where the actors will somehow make a grid and shoot into the water hoping to hit the enemy.  That happens, in this movie, with Rhianna, at night.  I am not joking.

What more can I say than that.  Do I really need to say anything else.  Everything about this movie was that board game, randomly shooting things into the air and hoping they hit something that would work with the audience, and none of it does.  None of it.  I can not think of a single point where I was oh that makes sense, or that is cool, or I can suspend my disbelief with that moment.  Nothing.  It was all just bad.  Bad acting, bad story, bad weapons, bad technology, bad attempts at making you care about the characters.  So, so bad.

I think you would have more fun going out buying Battleship the game and playing it for 2 straight hours, than watch Battleship and if you are going with someone else to the movies, it would be cheaper as well.  So you can skip this one, pretend it was never a movie, because while they say it is a movie, it might be the worst example of one in a long long time.

1 Star Movie Review for Battleship

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