Rated: R
Running Time: 99 minutes
Year: 1996
Boobs: 4 pairs
One Sentence: Even this was below B grade.
As I say I write for the people not for critics. So that means I must watch anything because some people might like B grade horror movies. I know I do. So I got a chance to see Satanic Yuppies. I know you all are jealous of my deep range of movie watching abilities. Most would never gotten through this one, but I force myself out of sheer will so that I can come back and write this for you.
I think this movie might have been made with a home video camera. When I was in high school and a little bit afterward, my friends and I would take a VHS camera, grab a box of shitty suits, horrible wigs, and fake guns and make movies. We would shoot all night and then laugh at the horrible movie we made around dawn. Satanic Yuppies, was worse than those movies in almost all ways. The acting was worse, except for [tag]Amber Newman[/tag]. The quality of film and lighting was worse. The sets were worse and the costumes were worse. The only thing better was that they got some girls to get naked, but it really wasn't worth the pain of the 94 other minutes that wasn't filled with some naked girl.
They failed at all the B movie things that would make it a great B movie. The girls played it way too serious, even though the acting was horrible for B grade. There was not nearly enough blood. There was no humor, there were jokes they just were not funny. The nudity wasn't nearly gratuitous enough, except for one girl that wasn't even in the movie but just danced around a fire. I just didn't feel it as a B movie or as a real horror movie. Totally skippable. They get 2 stars for the gratuitousness of the one girl that was dancing by the fire, and satan who was pretty good.
