Rated: Who Cares
Running Time: Too long to bare
Year: I wish never
Boobs: None of these either
One Sentence: Can I have my 2 hours back please!
Holy shit, it is crappy movie month in the theaters. I did not think I would see something was worse than Semi-Pro, well guess what. I was wrong. I am going to tell you all something not many people know. It's a secret. So shhhh. I sort of enjoyed Roland Emmerich's films Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow. I know they are horrible but they have a entertainment value to them that at least makes it a good watch when you are lying on the couch all of Sunday and the remote is too far to reach and it comes on. I would watch it, I would not get up. 10,000 B.C. however I would burn my TV if it came on to sterilize it from the total suck that might infect all of my network.
So this movie, which is more like 4200 B.C. is totally horrible in every way. It is horribly acted and has horrible dialog that just makes your eyes bleed with pain and cheesiness. I expected this however, I was really going for the awesome CG spectacle that was 10,000 B.C. You know the mammoth, and sabretooths, that are in the preview, and poster. Yea. I got home after the movie, and there was a commercial for something, and the CG in that commercial, was years ahead of what 10,000 B.C. had. It was piss poor. It looked like they did not finish the image integration layer, and they ran out of time to complete it. Everything looked like it was sitting on top of the movie, like someone took a picture of a hairy elephant and took some scotch tape and stuck to to the film reel. It was just terrible.
I also am not sure what the hell was going on, was it some alternate universe? There were like pyramids, and people who I believe were Egypitans or maybe not, and giant ostridges. It wasn't the right time, and there were, nevermind, it was just horrible. I am having a hard time finding anything worth saying was good about this movie. The girl in it, had pretty eyes, but I am pretty sure they were fake. So that is about it, Do not go see this movie.
