Magnificent Seven

Magnificent 7 Poster

Do you like guns?  Do you like half hour long gun fight battles where there is a lot of shooting and guns?  Then The Magnificent Seven is for you.   Do you want there to be little plot, little character development and a lot of guns?  Then rush out to the theater and get in line for The Magnificent Seven right now.  Do you want Chris Pratt to be the Chris Pratt you fell in love with for about 2 minutes in a 2-hour movie and the rest of the time he shoots guns?  Then The Magnificent Seven is for you.

It is hard to write more than that about this movie.  There is literally about 10 minutes of back story plot in this whole movie and it is 2 hours and 12 minutes long.  It follows a formula that doesn’t surprise you in any way.  It will do everything you expect it to, right down to the very last minute.  It clomps along with its impending super battle scene for sure coming right over the horizon.  Then it is time, for the gun battle that lasts for 30 minutes, pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew.

While entertaining in an action movie sort of way this movie is so without substance that you can get just as much action from any number of old 80’s movies and do not need to pony up the 10 bucks to see this one.  So I think you can skip this one.  It just doesn’t have anything new that would make it worth the trip.

2 Stars

Blair Witch

Blair Witch Poster

I was a big fan of the original Blair Witch Project.  I lived in a wooded area when it came out and the first night when I drove home from the theater I kept thinking I was seeing those little Blair Witch idols everywhere.  I tried to find out as much info as I could about the movie, the story, and the film style which was all new.  It was such a complete and well-done project, as the name suggested, it wasn’t just a movie, and it changed the way movies were made in the future.  I do not even remember the second Blair Witch movie and I think the intention of this third movie was to pretty much forget it all together as well.

So as I am sure you have already heard the new Blair Witch is good, or great, or amazing, or awful, horrible and a waste of time.  Well as a fan of horror and a total fan boy of The Blair Witch story and idea, I can say that I did like Blair Witch.  This is The Blair Witch Project part 2 though, and by that I mean it is almost the same movie.  The idea is the same, the way the movie unfolds is the same, everything is very similar to the original. There is a bit more story and a lot better film quality.  The acting is weak but nothing that makes you think that these people shouldn’t be acting.  There are a bit too many forced jump scares that I think could have been left out.  There were all of these negatives and it was exactly perfect.

The Blair Witch Project was an abomination of filmmaking, and no one cared.  Well, the critics did, as they do here, but it doesn’t matter.  As critics opinions do not.  This movie is god damn fun, god damn scary and totally worth watching in the theater if you are a horror fan.  As a total fan, this movie had enough for me to have a great time watching it in the theater.  Go with someone that loved the first movie and you will have a great time.

4 Stars For Blair Witch

Kubo And The Two Strings Review

Kubo And The Two Strings Poster

You know what I haven’t seen in a long time, an animated action movie, that wasn’t anime.  Thinking back I am having a hard time thinking of one.   I guess Big Hero 6 was one, but it didn’t feel like it.  The Incredibles was for sure.  That was over 10 years ago.   Maybe I am just forgetting, but they seem to be scarce enough that it made Kubo And The Two Strings even more welcome.

I had a wonderful time with Kubo.  Sometimes the stop motion animation can not quite hit on the emotion and the facial features that standard digital animation can, or at least that is what I used to think.  Kubo And The Two Strings did not have this issue at all.  It was amazing looking.  The Animation team did a stellar job and really brought to life these characters.  Better than any previous movie this studio has done.  It was beautiful looking.  Make sure you stay half way through the credits for a little behind the scenes of how they did some of the work.  It really shows the dedication to this movie.

The story was very fun as well.   Japanese culture, action, very cool characters and a good story really made Kubo work on many levels, not just the animation.  I loved the music and the magic that this movie created.  It was fun, funny, and has some very cool scenes.  I really can not get over the art direction in this movie.  This feels like Laika’s masterpiece.  Such a good recovery after The Boxtrolls.

So I think it is pretty obvious that I would recommend seeing this movie this weekend.  It is totally worth paying to see in the theater.  Also for sure skip the 3-D, this movie is darker than most animated movies and the 3-D ruins the beauty of it.

5 Stars for Kubo And The Two Strings

Sausage Party Review

Sausage Party Poster

So remember this is a rated R movie.  It is not for your kids.

I was a bit surprised by Sausage Party.  I was a bit worried about it, it looked like a cash grab and that the animation was going to be very poor.  I am glad to report that I was wrong on both counts.  It was well put together and funny and the animation did not suck at all.

I think I will start with the animation, which was very well done.  Animation and art direction actually.  Everything looked amazing, the personification of all the food and non-food products was very well thought out.  It really helped deliver the point of the jokes and the commentary of the movie as a whole in a way that would not have worked if they were not talking food products.  While almost literal in their symbolism, I think having it be so blatant helped with everything this movie was trying to say in the subplots.  The subplots were what I liked most about this movie.

The top level story was a little too simple and almost too cartoony for me.  It really felt like too young of a story line for the movie they were making.  They had all this stuff going on behind the main storyline that was far more interesting and really made the movie feel smart.  Then you had this main plot point that was not smart enough.  I don’t think it is enough to make me disregard this movie, because I still had a lot of fun with it, but it did let me down a little bit on what I think could have been something a lot better.

Everyone did good voice work and the characters were very fun.  The jokes were solid.  I would not say this was the funniest movie I have seen by this team, but it was solid enough.  Overall I would say this movie is good enough and looks pretty enough for you to go see in the theater.

4 Stars for Sausage Party

Ghostbusters

Ghostbusters Poster

I used Kate McKinnon’s poster for Ghostbusters because I think she is hilarious and I think she was a big issue with Ghostbusters.  She is representative of exactly what I thought about the new Ghostbusters.  They had an idea and they executed it incorrectly.  With Kate McKinnon, I am not sure if this was the character she created or was directed to act that way, but she was underused and very odd.  Not in a funny way, in a weird way, a way that stuck out and left me confused.  There were a lot of choices in this movie that left me confused.

I am just not sure what this movie is.  If it is a comedy, it was not very funny, and very slow.  It had so many slow parts, that could have been more silly or more something.  There were some scenes that just drag on.  If it was a thriller or action movie it wasn’t those either.  The threat was not really a threat, and it didn’t feel scary, or exciting.  Not that I was expecting scary, I was just expecting something.  It was almost like a science documentary of made up science terminology where people tried to make up the silliest things that sounded real.

It was an explosion of special effects, in a movie that did not need special effects.  We know what the ghostbusters beam looks like, and we know what ghosts look like, you do not need to spend all the time making pretty ghosts.  Make a funny, interesting story, that is what people want.   It really just got lost and did not work for me.  I didn’t hate it, and I don’t think the haters have even seen it, but I am just disappointed because it could have been so much more.

 

The Neon Demon

The Neon Demon

I was with The Neon Demon.  I was loving the color, the music, the crafted coolness of the story.  It was dark, sinister, and innocent all at the same time.  It was working, and it wasn’t going to lose me.  Then The Neon Demon appeared in the movie and it all just fell apart.  It went from something that felt like it had a purpose and a reason for being made into a joke.  A color mopped student art house film that was made over a 2 day period after he just learned about symbolism and went very literal.  It felt like Nicolas Winding Refn got bored and decided to just finish it without regard to making something watchable or good.

There is no doubt that there are some thing that were high points at the start of this movie.  The signatures of Refn’s color and music choices drive the movie forward.  Elle Fanning, Jenna Malone, Abbey Lee, and Bella Heathcote all play their parts well.  They push what is an obvious movie, and a story told many times before in an exciting direction.  All these things grab you, and make you want to see what will happen.  It all plays out very well for the first half of the movie.  Then there is a scene, with what I am calling The Neon Demon.  From this point on, it completely loses it’s way.  It pushes the boundaries of what needed to be shown for the story to a comical overreach to shock and to write a signature on the movie.  It takes the stylish and cool and turns it into a sad joke, and it is all the worse for it.  I wanted to be able to support this movie, and say that I liked it, or even tolerated it.  Letting the first half shine and making excuses for the second half, but there is nothing there to support.  It is not worth the time nor the effort.

Finding Dory

Finding Dory Poster

I need to first state that I watched this movie in 3-D and it was so dark that I could not enjoy this movie.  It was so dark with the 3-D glasses on that I took them off half way through the movie and watched it without the glasses on.  It was easier to watch fuzzy than it was with the 3-D glasses on.  So I really think my ability to properly review this movie is compromised.  I just have a bad taste in my mouth about it.

So I can already tell I am not in a good mood about this review.  Thinking about the 3-D issue has made me upset and it is making the flaws glaring and the good parts fade into the darkness that was Finding Dory in 3-D.  So I guess let’s just go with the 3-D review, because you all are going to watch this movie anyway, with or without my review.

Most times I find 3-D to be completely useless.  Seeing all movies that are available in 3-D has made 3-D visually unviewable to me for most movies.  If the color is right, then I literally will not see the 3-D effects.  If there is an issue with the 3-D it effects the movie greatly.  This is usually in the form of color, or darkness.  The 3-D glasses are practically sunglasses, and if they do not adjust the color upwards to account for that, you get a lot less detail.  Finding Dory has a lot of dark scenes.  Scenes in dark pipes, or kelp gardens that are very dark.  I felt like I missed over half the movie because of the color issue.  If they were not on the surface or at the reef I felt like it was too dark to watch.  Usually animated movies have the least problems with 3-D because the color adjustments are made during the creation process for 3-D, but it doesn’t seem like it happened with Finding Dory.  So it is pretty obvious if you are at the box office and looking at if you should see it in 3-D or not.  Skip it, stop paying for it and the studios will stop doing it and I will not have to watch all these damn movies in 3-D anymore.




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