The Hundred-Foot Journey

The Hundred Foot Journey Image

Rated: PG

Nudity: None

After Credits: None

I love making food.  Working and getting the ingredients together to make something that you love and that tastes amazing is a wonderful experience.  When I saw the trailer for The Hundred-Foot Journey I almost instantly fell in love with it.  It just looked like an amazing visual experience about the other senses that you don’t experience in the movies.

When I was watching the movie, it took about 5 minutes for me to know that I was going to love every minute of this movie.  The beautiful scenery, the shots that expressed the love of food and flavor in a way that made you experience it yourself.  The people who made this movie loved food and wanted to share that love with other people who do and it was done wonderfully well.

The Hundred-Foot Journey is beautiful, sweet, funny, romantic and about family, by blood, and otherwise.  It is a simple story, and tells it perfectly.  It is a great movie in this time of Ninja Turtles and other super heroes to just sit down have an amazing meal with some amazing people.  That is what The Hundred-Foot Journey feels like, and it was very welcome.

5 Stars.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Image

One Sentence: It wasn’t a total crapfest.

Rated: PG-13

Nudity: None

After Credits: None

I know the bar is set low when I am like well, it wasn’t the worst thing I have ever seen.  If I was comparing this to something like the 100 foot journey, which is amazing, then TMNT is an abomination.  However we are really comparing it to other summer movies and other Michael Bay movies, and if you put TMNT next to Transformers 4, the turtles would take home an Oscar.

The plot was all over the place, really really bad.  I am not quite sure what the plot was even now thinking back.  But that doesn’t matter does it.  We only need to know, was it fun, were the turtles bad ass, and how was The Shredder?  The turtles were over done to the extreme and annoying, but I think they always were and as an adult I just see it more now.  I felt like this movie more than most of these PG-13 comic book movies was focused more for kids.   However they were physically awesome.  Amazing CG and stellar fight scenes.  ILM delivered some amazing CG work.

The CG work is what really made this movie.  The fight scenes with the turtles and splinter were amazing.  So clean looking and so visually pleasing.  It is what saved this movie.  That and The Shredder.  He was designed very well.  He was brutal, strong, and very skilled in fighting.  I was really glad to see such a strong, overpowered bad guy.  I think he was my favorite part about the movie.  Without the great fight scenes you really don’t have much here.  There were enough of these scenes that it kept my attention and made me look at the shiny flashing things long enough to forget that the plot was horrible.

So it at least was something nice to look at for a little bit, and you might make it through it when you take your kids.  I don’t think you have to rush to the theater to see this one though.

2-3 Stars.

Into The Storm

Into The Storm Image

One Sentence: Twister 2, the twistiest.

Rated: PG-13

Nudity: None

After Credits: None

I loved Twister, it was horrible, it had Bill Paxton, and fake tornadoes, but it was visually amazing.  It did things they never did before in film.  It was a fun ride and it made for a very fun movie.  I still will watch it if I catch it on TV.  Twister had something that Into The Storm didn’t.  The surprise of amazing tornado special effects.  So Into The Storm had to bring something else, and it did not.  It was almost the same movie as Twister, except I think more people died in Into The Storm.  So I will probably watch it again in 10 years when it is on FX on Sunday, but I will forget about it until then.

Storm Chasers, an F5 tornado, and a family in the middle.  It was your run of the mill tornado movie formula.  It really didn’t surprise me in any way.  Well there was one scene at the end inside the Titan that was amazing (you will see). Even though it followed a Hollywood path, it was just a special effects movie and it didn’t have anything to say, it wasn’t a horrible movie.  It was visually stunning and I was nervous thought a lot of the movie.  It did what it needed to do, and none of it was badly put together.  It didn’t feel rushed, or the dialog wasn’t tragic.  It overall put together a pretty good forgettable movie.  Sadly it is a forgettable movie and just something I will never think about after this review.

I think you can go see it.  If it looks good to you, you won’t be disappointed in paying to see it, but don’t expect anything amazing.  It’s a movie about tornadoes, what do you expect.

3 Stars

Guardians Of The Galaxy

Guardians Of The Galaxy Image

One Sentence: Comic book movies, where everything is a little cleaner.

Rated: PG-13

Nudity: None

After Credits: None

I just read up on Thanos and The Infinity Gauntlet and stones.  There are all these things about him dying and coming back to life and alternate universes and all of these things that make your head spin.  Too many lines, too many books and too much to keep up with.  This is one of the reasons I never read comics.  However that doesn’t mean I am  not a fan.  I love the characters and I think we are in an amazing age of new content for movies that we can just take from these many lines of comics.  Guardians is a perfect example of that.  Guardians was first released in 1969 and then rebooted in 2008.  We are already getting into complexity.  In the comic reboot some lived, some were used again, and some didn’t make the cut.  So let’s just say none of that matters, and let’s just make a movie.

Now that is what I am talking about.  Let’s take some amazing characters, throw away the multiverses and make something awesome.  Guardians Of The Galaxy is awesome.  It has a great opening straight out of 1988 and doesn’t stop until the end.  Comedy, Action, and great writing.  A solid story arc that fits into what else is going on with the Avengers but it can also stand up by itself that you do not, at least right now, need to have seen any other movie.

Chris Pratt and Zoe Saldana are really fun.  Bradley Cooper killed it as Rocket.  Rocket, a fully CG raccoon humanoid character really looked amazing, and looked very real to me.  One of the best CG characters I have seen in film.  Groot and Drax round out the team, and it just worked so very well.  Everyone believed in this project, and wanted to deliver an amazing fun movie for everyone.  You do not need to be a comic book lover for this movie.  It was a lot of fun.  Probably the most fun I have had this year at the movies.  It didn’t take itself too seriously and while I thought The Winter Soldier was the better movie as far as film and story, this movie is more fun.

This one is available in 3-D and IMAX and I think you can skip both of those.  I saw it in 3-D and didn’t notice the 3-D at all.  This is a full price, see it with everyone, bring the kids along movie.  It is a touch violent and there is swearing, but it is standing compared to other Marvel Studios movies.  I think you should go see it this weekend.

Guardians Of The Galaxy Image

 

Sex Tape

Sex Tape Image

One Sentence: Rated R and so much better for it.

Rated: R

Nudity: Butts

After Credits: None

In the first 2 minutes of this movie you know it’s rated R for a reason.  Jason Segel wrote another amazing movie written for adults about being adults and delivered it with a lot of laughs.  It does everything you want, it doesn’t pull punches on jokes, it makes fun of your kids, it’s sexy, it’s funny, and everyone in it seems like they are down for whatever the script asked for.  Which in a rated R comedy about sex, that is really important.  I am so happy with everyone’s performances in this movie, they seemed to really believe in what they were doing if it the scenes were a little uncomfortable to shoot.

Cameron Diaz and Rob Lowe are the two stand out’s in this movie.  Cameron because she seemed so open to everything they threw at her.  Graphically funny sex scenes, outfits, drug use, and just being a mom.  She really went all out on the character and it really helped make this movie be so much more than just a rated R comedy.  She really helped make it feel real, and genuine.  Rob Lowe on the other hand made this movie feel silly and off the wall.  Which is also awesome.  While it did have a message, it was a good story, and it was rooted in reality, they gave him an amazing part that was just crazy.  It allowed us to have the balance of some reality and some really insane comedy, and Rob was amazing at it.  It all made for a wonderful movie that I enjoyed very much.

I think it is an easy call for full date night this weekend.  Do not bring the kids, and expect some adult content, but it is very well written and very funny.

Sex Tape Image

Tammy Movie Review

Tammy Movie Review Image

One Sentence: I am not sure what this movie was trying to say.

Rated: R

Nudity: None

After Credits: During the credits.

Melissa McCarthy is on fire as I am sure you know.  Which can be a bad thing.  She gets put into movies just because it is her, and she gets projects that maybe should of never been made because she is in them or attached to them.  Melissa and her real life husband Ben Falcone wrote Tammy together and both star in the movie as well.  Ben directed it and this is one of those times where I think everyone was just nodding yes to a star and nothing else mattered, because Tammy didn’t work for me.

While this character you ended up liking for her caring heart, she also didn’t want to learn anything.  She has a mixed up character of something that you would never ever be friends with who you wish had made better choices in life because she is a nice person when she wants to be.  This character didn’t work for me, as every time I felt like she was taking a step forward she also took a step back.  It was supported by a bunch of other horrible characters who I really didn’t care to find out what would happen with them.  A lot of people I didn’t need a story told about.

This all led to the end of the movie that was sort of a romantic ending and had no learned moments at the end.  At least I didn’t think so.  We have this long journey down the path of a not so great person who didn’t really learn anything or change in any way.  I left the theater thinking what was the point of this movie.  I also didn’t think it was very funny.  So Melissa isn’t great in everything and Tammy is proof of that.  I would skip this one completely.

Tammy Movie Review Image

Transformers: Age Of Extinsion

Transformers: Age Of Extinsion Image

One Sentence: The Dinobots are in this movie for about 20 minutes and are not impressive.

Rated: PG-13

Nudity: None

After Credits: None

Holy crap, I have not been this offended by my time being stolen in a long time.  Now I have to write this review and waste even more time?  I hope at least I can save you 3 hours.  Yes, 3 hours!  Because that is how long this movie is, and if you see that I wrote that the Dinobots are in the last 20 minutes, that means, about 160 minutes of NO DINOBOTS.  Which might be ok, if this movie was good in any way.  If the plot didn’t suck totally, the dialogue wasn’t abysmal or the editing wasn’t the worst I have seen in a movie I think ever.

There is a scene where they are racing in a rally car, yes a rally car, through a corn field, they cut to some close up shots then back to the car, on an asphalted overpass.  The whole movie was like a weird time warp.  Something would be going on and then it would be the same scene but like later in that scene, and you don’t know how they got to that point.  It was like they thought they had so much good stuff that they had to make the hard choices to cut it down to 3 hours.  So the decision was made, cut all the things that thread together these scenes, we just want the robots fighting anyway.

The Dinobots are what we are really here for anyway.  They didn’t speak, and didn’t have any plot around them.  They literally were found in cages, unlocked, and they were forced by Optimus to do his Autobot dictator bidding, or else he was going to heat sword them to death.  Ugh it was so disappointing.  They had a triple changer, who never triple changed at one time, they had Galvetron, but he sucked and was hardly in the movie either.   This whole movie was just a total waste of everything do not ever pay time or money to see this movie.

ZERO STARS!