Futurama: Bender’s Game

Bender’s Game Poster

Rated: NR

Running Time: Not Available

Year: 2008

Nudity: None

One Sentence: I am starting to think cancelled was the way to go.

This is the third direct to DVD release of a Futurama movie since the cancellation of the show, and the rehire after.  Giving hope to all fans of the original show that some of the spark of the original would be shown again in longer features.  As we have seen before, so far this has not happened. However Bender's Game gave a bit more hope as there is a D20 on the cover of the DVD so it had far more nerd cred, sadly nerd cred does not make a movie good, and Bender's Game fails as the previous 2 DVD relaeases to really give the fans something good. 

I am not sure if it's the full length issue or what exactly is going on with these Futurama movies, but they are just not that good.  They are slow feeling, do not have the same sharp wit and fun times as the original show and have a tendency to just drag on.  I was just bored with this movie.  There were a few funny parts but overall the movie just kept on going with someone else watching the movie who is a bigger fan that I am, "This movie is really long."  When it actually wasn't that much over 1.5 hours.  Giving a clue to the slowness of the movie. 

The nerdy D&D part of the movie did not deliver a really good layer either.  It didn't make fun of gamers in an excessive, over the top way, or didn't deliver a truly original idea for them to get all nerdy about, instead it was a reused Lord Of The Rings plotline that just seemed recycled.  They seemed like they were trying to pander to gamers, not go at them in a fun way, and it really made the movie a let down I think for those looking for something unuiqe and smart with the gaming part of the movie.  I again can't say this movie is really worth the rental, it is just an empty shell of the once great Futurama. 

2 Stars 

My Coke Rewards Code: BF7A7WP7KAX7

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The Reviewer’s Wrost And Best of 2008

There goes 2008.  Another year another set of movies that someone else is telling you to see that you don't really care about, and others that are so bad they made it onto my top worst list but other critics are saying is one of the top movies of the year.  Well as you all know, The Reviewer could care less what the critics say, the only thing that effects this list is what I thought about the movie when I watched it.  These are the best and worst movies of the year according to me based on whatever criteria I felt like that would make that movie into the best or worst list.  It could be acting, story, how funny it was or how pretty it looked, how horrible the CG was or that it was 3 damn hours long and never ended.  So here they are, your worst and best of 2008 according to The Reviewer, and if you want to read the original review, just click on the poster and it will take you to the original review that I wrote when I saw the movie. 

 

 

Worst Movies of 2008

 

5. Star Wars The Clone Wars

George spoons us another pile of crap, this one with an annoying tween in tow surpassing the annoying levels of Anakin and Jar Jar Binks combined.  Clone Wars was such a failure comapred to the completly awesome Cartnoon Network original series that it just broke my heart far worse than Episode 1. 

4. Semi-Pro Poster

The next 3 movies could change ranks between 4 and 2, they are all equally bad.   I do not think I laughed once during Semi-Pro and I really went into it with an open mind.  It was just horrible. 

3. The Love Guru Poster

To subject Justin Timberlake to this type of acting blunder is unforgiveable.  I can not even begin to tell you how bad this movie is.  I really wish I had never seen it, I really wish it was never made, I wish I did not have to put this image up on my website. 

2. 10,000 BC Poster

10,000 B.C. was the CG failure of the year.  What was supposed to be a look into our past, was a clusterfuck of horrible CG, bad acting, horrible story, weird things that didn't actually occur in 10,000 B.C. and everything else wrong with a movie.  Just plain horrible. 

1. Australia Poster

Your worst movie of the year is Australia, tipping the scales at 3 hours long, the movie just goes on forever, with the narration by a horribly annoying Aborigine child with tragic broken english who you wish would have died on that bombed island.  I have not had a bigger urge to walk out of a movie in years as I did with Australia.  

 

 

Best Movies of 2008

 

5. Cloverfield Poster

Giant Monster, crazy footage, love story, tilted building, and headless Statue Of Liberty what else could you ask for in a movie?I was scared, on the edge of my seat and just had a great time with Cloverfield.  I thought it was excellent and well worth the price of admission and then some.  The giant monster gets the #5 best movie of the year. 

4. JCVD Poster

I am not one to put foregin movies on my top lists.  I usually don't feel like I get them enough to care or do I think it is really fair to the readers to have to try to find this movie, but JCVD is so good that it is going to have to make the list anyway.  A unexpected and wonderful acting performace and a great movie as well JCVD is the surprise movie of the year, and the one I say that you should try your hardest to find a copy of and see.  

3. Zach and Miri make a porno poster

It is no secret that I love Kevin Smith, but Zach and Miri was on a another level.  This movie had me laughing throughout the whole thing, it was sweet, funny, gross, and crazy.  It brought in all the greatness of Kevin Smith movies and graduated to the next level and I thought was the funniest movie of the year. 

2. Forgetting Sarah Marshall Poster

Forgetting Sarah Marshall was lost in the shuffle with a lot of people.  They didn't think it looked good and didn't go see it or something, I don't know.  What I do know is that it is the perfect date movie of 2008, and is amazingly wonderful.  I had such a great time with this movie it is only 1 of 2 movies I wanted to purchase for the 2008 list of movies.  The other one is the number one movie of the year. 

1. The Dark Knight Poster

I think it is hard to find anyone that thought this movie was not in the top movies of the year.  The second highest grossing movie of all time, that will take over #1 in Janunary, The Dark Knight was the ultimate movie for 2008, and this decade.  A finely crafed wonderfully amazing crime drama, that is more than just a super hero movie.  The Dark Knight was on a level all by itself this year and delivered one of the best movies I have seen in my lifetime.  This movie deserves the top honor on my list and is so far ahead that there is no question that it is the best movie of the year.  

 

Well there you go folks, my list.  Please tell me what your lists are, tell me I am crazy or tell me anything you loved or hated about 2008 in comments below.  Have a good 2009.  

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The Machine Girl

The Machine Girl Poster

Rated: R

Running Time: 96 Minutes

Year: 2008

Nudity: None

One Sentence: The poster is way cooler than the movie. 

The Machine Girl was another movie from Fantastic Fest 2008 that I did not make it to.  Too many movies, too little time.  So I added this one to my netflix queue, and has been sitting at home for a long time.  Finally I had some time to check it out, and I have to say that I am glad I did not waste my time with this one during Fantastic Fest.  Compared to everything else I saw at Fantastic Fest this movie was a far lower quality, and really in my opinion not worthy of being at Fantastic Fest, and I was amazed that everything I saw was so good there.  

I thought low budget basement level D, gore movies were an American invention, and that this type of release would never make it out of Japan.  I thought the Japanese did it up right when it came to their gore, I guess they have to have a starting off point as well.  That is what The Machine Girl is, someone's student film that somehow got shipped to America.  It had some good things you come to expect from a Japenese gore movie, but failed in a lot of other places to make it very good. 

It felt like teens and early adults making a silly movie about a girl who loses her arm and then attaches a gun to it.  All the actors, even the parents looked very young and the whole movie just felt like it was unpolished and was someones drunk idea.  They script, acting, and characters were not very good, the whole thing mostly came to a boring movie with a bunch of spraying blood everywhere.  They didn't even really push the limits on this and just had things chopped off, nothing really crazy.  I was expecting a lot more craziness or gore or something, but it was just too lackluster to reccomend or say was very good.  I would skip it, as there are far better Japenese crazy movies to check out.  

2 Stars 

My Coke Rewards Code: F60TPBH77KT4

 

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The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button

The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button Poster

Rated: PG-13

Running Time: 153 Minutes

Year: 2008

Nudity: None

One Sentence: The Notebook 2: Katrina Boogaloo

I really don't like this flood of movies that we are suddendly supposed to care about because it is the end of the year and there is this huge oscar push.  They crank out these movies which are "Oscar Contenders" and expect all the critics to fawn over them and declare them the best movie of the year.  They are all very similar and really don't do anything that I would consider worthy of any type of best movie of the year title, or even in the top 5.  The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button is one of these types of movies, and is the type of movie, much like every year's best picture nominees and winners, that I have almost already completely forgotten that I have seen or cared that I ever saw it. 

This movie is just fine.  A slow flashback romance about a man with something weird going on with him, that is never really addressed, or matters much to anything outside of a superficial plot line, and something for people to fawn over from a CG perspective. This something I personally thought looked creepy and fake, not cutting edge and amazing as I have heard it called elsewhere.  The movie has a feel like The Notebook, an epic love story spanning decades of flashbacks that ends in the present day, I personally thought this movie was far less depressing however.

Sadly it's just anohter movie I have seen as the Oscar contnders fly by again.  I don't care about this movie past something that was slightly enjoyable and not really amazing enough for me to tell you all to go see it today.  It is as unmemorable as Michael Clayton or Atonement from last year, which were both in the best picture category last year at the Oscar's and really I would never ever tell someone now to go out and rent becuase they are such good movies.  I guess maybe rent it, if you like epic love stories that can never be.  Otherwise I don't think you need to see it.

3 Stars 

MCR Code: 6NRWLF607TVL

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Bedtime Stories

Bedtime Stories Poster

Rated: PG

Running Time: 95 Minutes

Year: 2008

Nudity: None

One Sentence: A family movie that forgot about the family. 

Since about 1993 or so the word family movie has become not only a movie for kids but a movie for everyone in the family.  Disney and the other teams really worked hard and making movies enjoyable for everyone, this included more adult style humor, and little touches that an adult would notice and enjoy in a movie.  This has led me to become a big fan of family movies, even though I don't have kids.  Pixar has delivered time after time great movies that I enjoyed very much, and recently Enchanted was another movie I could not get enough of.  So I figured a Disney/Happy Madison production would be at least slightly enjoyable, but this one isn't for the adults I guess. 

Happy Madison always made me laugh, the movies were stupid but they were enjoyable to me, I was really expecting this year's Enchanted.  IT did not deliver.  This movie is geared comepltly toward kids and does not have anything at all for adults.  The jokes are kid centric, and at no point do they deliever anything funny for the adults.  They completly forgot that kids can't get to the movie theater by themselves and you have to suffer for it. 

The movie is not smart, funny, witty, or have a good plot.  Adam Sandler is not dumb but loveable like in his other movies, in this one he is just dumb.  The magical moments that I would of hoped to occur during the bedtime stories are weak CG based fluff without that level of magic that I would expect to come from a Disney movie.  It reminded me of something weak like Spy Kids 3, not anything worthy of a Christmas Day release.  I am very disappointed with this movie as I really hoped it would be the Christmas movie for you all to go see, but I guess not.  I would say skip completely you don't even need to rent this one later, your kids will be even ok missing it. 

2 Stars 

Tag:

Yes Man

Yes Man Poster

Rated: PG-13

Running Time: 104 Minutes

Year: 2008

Nudity: None

One Sentence: I don't believe that Zooey would fall in love with Jim. 

To me this at least looked like it had potential, because I liked Liar, Liar, and this movie looked just like Liar, Liar. I mean I could tell the premise was different, but it pretty much felt the same.  Jim acting as the silly striaght man, in a situation where he has no control over some sort of function that leads him on wild and wacky adventures.  My hope was he at least was mostly going to be toned down.  Overall I felt like I was right about what I thought the movie was going to be, at least from a plot point of view.  However the movie ended up being far more a date movie that an outright comedy, and maybe even had some good messages. 

A date movie with a message does not a movie make however, and well Yes Man is mostly a No Thanks.  There are some funny parts, and I did laugh out loud, but at no point did I feel like this movie was anything better than a renter for you couples looking for something new on Netflix.  It had some good Jim Carrey moments, and Rhys Darby from Flight Of The Concords was quite hilarious, it didn't fill out enough to make me tell you all to go see it this weekend at the theater. Which is hard for me because of my blind support of anything Zooey Deschanel does. Who looked great, and was her usual self, except in cuter clothes. 

So the movie ended up being a romantic comedy, with a message, which I keep mentioning.  It talks about changing you life, doing what you want and making the right choices, and all these things ring true to me, and actually while watching made me reflect a little and made me feel good about watching the movie.  Then I thought about it and realized that you probably don't want a lecture and want to go see a comedy, so this is why I am saying skip it, because it ends up not being a comedy, but a life lesson with some humor thrown in.  Also I don't get that Zooey who looks 20 years younger than Jum Carrey would fall in love with him.  I guess if you are looking for a funny self-help book, this movie might be for you, the rest can rent or skip it. 

2 Stars 

MCR Code: N47LHWF9VFPB

Tag:

Slumdog Millionaire

Slumdog Millionaire Poster

Rated: R

Running Time: 120 Minutes

Year: 2008

Nudity: None

One Sentence: This year's movie to beat?

I am not the one to say that this is this year's movie to beat, but just about the rest of the world thinks that.  Slumdog Millionaire has been the buzzing movie since it first started appearing on screens across the country.  A piece on NPR, a Time magazine article and all the other creditable buzz that goes along with this type of movie.  It is infectious and gets passed along in offices, on blogs and anywhere else someone can pass an opinion.  The opinon, "Oh Slumdog Millionaire is soo good, you have to go see it." 

Slumdog Millionaire is so good, but you do not have to go see it.  Especially those of you that are not into the types of movies that win Oscar's.  This movie is a great story of a tough life in India growing up in the slums, being a "slumdog," and maybe having a small chance of making it out of the slums.  The story is a lot of things including a comedy, a love story and a drama, it does all the things well and as you have probably heard from someone, tells a great story.  The story is great, and the movie is worth checking out for those of you that might be interested in a movie based in India, and spoken in Hinglish.  This movie is not the abysamal downer most of these types of movies are, which I liked.  There are sad parts of this movie don't get me wrong, but not every moment in this movie is a punch to the stomach and right now, I think we could use a little bit lighter fare in our depressing movies.  Slumdog seems to have the right balance of sad story and uplifting moments.  It makes for a great movie for America right now.

The portions I liked especially about this movie was the creation of a visual style that represtented the India that we American's never see.  The colors, the trash, the people, the streets, and the lifestyle of the slums.  This living, breathing city, with millions of people and it's change over 20 years, as it becomes the new central hub of technology in the middle east.  How we understand that the changes are not only in the people in the city, but the city itself, and that is I think where Danny Boyle excels with Slumdog.  While the story is great I think this is the best part of the movie and really brings the whole thing to the next level.  While I enjoyed Slumdog, I do not think it is the best movie of the year, but I think if you decide to check it out, you will enjoy it as much as I did. 

4 Stars 

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