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Scatter My Ashes At Bergdorf’s Movie Review

Published by The Reviewer May 23rd, 2013 in Documentary Movies. 0 Comments

One Sentence: We have always been on top, hahaha we’re fabulous!

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: 24-May-2013

Nudity: None

Scatter My Ashes At Bergdorf’s is a new documentary releasing in movie houses around the world this week. You probably haven’t heard about it, and unless you live in a big city you probably will not be able to see it either. Bergdorf’s I found out is a department store on 5th ave in New York Ciry, and they would like to proclaim they are the best store of all the stores around, and here are a bunch of people in sunglasses to tell you that as well, but not really why.

Scatter is a scattered attempt at telling the story about a store in New York that sells clothes to rich people and why they are wonderful at it. It provides very little that you would want to know and instead has a lot of quick snipit’s of celebrities and celebrity designers saying why they are wonderful without saying anything at all. There is hardly any history, and even less how or why. It really comes off as a long form commercial about a store that I guess is famous? Until today I had never heard of it, and I enjoy fashion at least a little bit.

It seems to go on and on about not much, and jumps around to many different subjects without showing or saying very much at all. They talk about the shoe salon at one point and how it is magical, without ever showing the shoe salon and having one stylist say “Oh I can’t talk about the shoe salon.” Not why it is magical, how the process is put together, how the shoes are sold or anything of any value. This is how the whole movie shakes out, except for a small focus on the window dressings and how they come about. This was the only part of the doc that I found any interest in and it was still struggling to be interesting.

I was very excited by this one, I thought it would be another small subject documentary that found magic in the nuance and details. Instead it missed every detail while patting the subject on the back for being the subject. I think this doc is completely skippable and I wouldn’t even rent it. I found it very hard to make it through the 91 minutes of the movie.

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Star Trek Into Darkness Movie Review

Published by The Reviewer May 16th, 2013 in Action Movies. 0 Comments

One Sentence: Lens flares everywhere.

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: 16-May-2013

Nudity: None

I am not really sure why you are getting this review so late. I got to see Star Trek Into Darkness last night at 9pm, it was released today. This isn’t really something that happens in the movie critic world. We either get it early enough to write a review on time, or we don’t get it at all. To get it where it ends at the time the movie is released is odd, and I can not tell you why they did that, because I thought Star Trek Into Darkness was the best summer movie of the year so far.

The movie opens with an amazing display of color, 3-D, action and comedy. It grabs you instantly, and almost never lets go throughout the whole movie. It tells a lot of story fast, but it doesn’t feel like they skipped too much. It didn’t feel rushed, but kept the pace fast enough to not feel long or slow either. At least until the third act.

The third act kind of came out of nowhere, and I really thought they were going to end the movie at a different place, and leave us hanging, which I think might of been better. Instead we got a little bit of a slower, softer ending, that probably was forced into the movie for the mass audience. It wasn’t bad at all, it just took the pacing and feel of the movie and shifted it.

Together through all of it, you had comedy, action, good story, a good villain or two and a story line that I don’t think a lot of people were expecting. I wasn’t that is for sure. Maybe they wanted to keep it so secret that is why they screened it so late. So sorry for this coming so late, luckily it’s Thursday and you get the movie a day early. I would go see this movie for sure, and as per usual you can skip the 3-D.

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Iron Man 3 Movie Review

Published by The Reviewer May 3rd, 2013 in Action Movies. 0 Comments

One Sentence: You better have seen The Avengers.

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: 03-May-2013

I can’t really tell you to go see this movie or not. That doesn’t matter, you would not listen to me anyway. If I said this was the worst movie ever created and that you literally get punched in the face and your mother gets shot if you go to this movie, you would still go. So let’s skip most of the review and talk about what we really need to talk about. How you should prepare and what version you should watch this in. That’s the only important things you need to know.

So if you know who Iron Man is, and that his suit is red and yellow and hes rich, you only need to see The Avengers for any references to this movie. If you want to be fully up on all the references you might want to watch Iron Man 2 as well, but it is a minor point that you might not understand fully. You don’t need to see any other of the Marvel movies around The Avengers. They are both good movies, so it’s not like it’s a tough task to satisfy. Catching both of those movies should make you fairly satisfied with Iron Man 3.

Now the format, I know this movie is available in 3-D, and I know some of you think that 3-D is awesome. It is not awesome for Iron Man 3. It actually made me dislike the movie quite a bit. It made the movie much darker, the feeling more drab, and the overall emotion and danger that was attempting to be portrayed was taken down a notch by the muted grey colors. It felt like a rain cloud over the whole movie and it just didn’t have that brightness and color that the previous Iron Man’s did. I would take off my glasses during parts and it felt instantly different. I should of just watched it blurry, it would of been better.

If I can do anything for you with this review, it is to tell you, DO NOT GO SEE THIS MOVIE IN 3-D. Help stop these awful conversions and releases and make 3-D go away for another 30 years. You will have a much better movie experience and it is cheaper too.

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Oblivion Movie Review

Published by The Reviewer April 19th, 2013 in Action Movies. 0 Comments

One Sentence: 4K looks amazing.

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: 19-Apr-2013

Nudity: Booty

I was not buying into the 4k hype. That Oblivion was shot in 4k. I just didn’t care because most projectors do not show an image at 4k. I thought this was another Hobbit, shot at 48fps and that looked just awful. Oblivion was the complete opposite. It was stunningly beautiful. I saw Oblivion on a IMAX screen, and I could have just watched it with no sound for the whole movie. It was just jaw dropping how amazing it looked. If this is the future of movies I hope every movie is shot in 4k and presented on an IMAX screen because it is rare that I say you must see a movie on IMAX, but Oblivion is one of those movies. All of the technical elements of this movie were stellar. The music, sound, and the CG were just amazing. It is the new bar in technical achievement in film. This is enough for you to go see this movie in IMAX in my opinion.

The movie itself is solid. I am not expecting any awards for best movie of the year. It is an interesting story, with some plot twists. It was good enough to carry the movie. I felt there was a little bit of that blockbuster Hollywood cheese, but it wasn’t so bad that it stuck out. It wasn’t like Armageddon. Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise, no surprises, and he is fine. The cast is actually quite small and they all deliver what they need to for this film. I had a very good time, and it is a great mix of story and beauty.

If you have an IMAX within an hour of you, go see this movie in an IMAX. It is just amazing. It really is worth the extra money. It is not only beautiful, but is what I hope is a look at the future of moving making, and it looks amazing.

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Trance Movie Review

Published by The Reviewer April 12th, 2013 in Action Movies. 0 Comments

One Sentence: The movie is kind of like it’s poster.

Rated: R

Release Date: 12-Apr-2013

Nudity: Rosario Dawson full nudity.

Throughout the years I have learned to love Danny Boyle, even Sunshine. He is in your face, with music, lights, sound, and story. It is all pushed out in front of you and he does not shy away from what he is trying to do. His movies feel like they should be worse than they are. He is so extreme that you think that this movie should not work, but they usually being great. Trance is another one of these movies that I think should not work, but does.

Trance is an odd movie, part love story, part art history, and part heist movie, it has to do a lot to get it’s point across. For the most part it does this well, walking a thin line between reality, and the world of fantasy and memory. The story is very layered and gets pulled apart slowly, leaving you wondering what is happening and what is going to happen next. You know this movie is going to be one with an ending that is shocking or not what you expected and I think Trance delivers on that. Overall it is a satisfying story…but.

It has that hint of Danny Boyle being Danny Boyle, which as I have said makes you feel like this shouldn’t be a good movie. Trance I think is a little bit too much Sunshine and not enough Slumdog Millionaire. It is good, it is quality, it is interesting, and it has some scenes that make you think, that a joke is being played on you, that is only funny to Danny Boyle. It leaves you questioning the integrity of the rest of the movie. It is classic Danny Boyle. Which as I have said, I have learned to love, but it might just be a little too much Danny Boyle for everyone else.

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A Place Beyond The Pines Movie Review

Published by The Reviewer April 12th, 2013 in Drama Movies. 0 Comments

One

One Sentence: So so long.

Rated: R

Release Date: 12-Apr-2013

Nudity: None

You might get tricked with this movie. With the trailers for A Place Beyond The Pines. It does have all the people in the trailer in it. They are part of the movie that much is true. I guess it is technically a crime drama at least for a little bit. It is all those fast cuts, and things that make it feel like an action movie. Those parts, those are the parts that might not be true. There are some action scenes, and there is a motorcycle, but this movie moves about as slow as a movie possibly can.

When the third act started after the screen went black for a moment and the screen said 15 years later, I was shocked. I was ready to get up and leave, I could not believe there was another whole act that was coming. Wasn’t this movie already over? Didn’t we see all we had to see? No there was more, another 30 minutes more at least. It just kept going, and it had gotten worse, all those people who were in the trailers, they weren’t in the movie anymore, instead we had to deal with some teenagers. I don’t care about these kids, why is this movie still going.

This is what I felt like throughout most of A Place Beyond The Pines. It never felt like it was going anywhere, and when you got the hint it might, it took a turn down a slower more boring road than the one before. It attempts to be drama filled, and powerful and tense and hard, but instead it comes off as slow, slow slow and slower. There is not enough here for the time you have to put in to make it to the end. It just didn’t do it for me.

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42 Movie Review

Published by The Reviewer April 12th, 2013 in Drama Movies. 0 Comments

One Sentence: The best performance by Harrison Ford in a long time.

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: 12-Apr-2013

Nudity: None

On April 15, 2013 and every other year, all the players of Major League Baseball will wear the number 42 instead of their own number. They wear it to remember Jackie Robinson the first African American Baseball player in the major leagues. It is the only number to be retired by all of Major League Baseball. Jackie Robinson also won Rookie Of The Year, the first year he played in the major leagues and MVP that year as well and had a .311 all time batting average.

Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier and he did it while stealing bases, getting hits, and helping the Brooklyn Dodgers get to the World Series. Just playing would have been enough.

42 and Chadwick Boseman portrays Jackie as a strong man, a smart man, and disciplined man. Dealing with the hate, violence, and ignorance of that time. The Jim Crow laws, and the things he had to endure to make it through that time. He wasn’t just a man playing baseball. The movie doesn’t seem to fall into the trap of most biopics. It doesn’t have that dark time that the character caused himself. The dark time is the world around him. Jackie stands tall and as strong as he can be.

The movie is powerful, and delivers on the pain and the confusion of that time. Those who wished to support Jackie were also attacked, and the battle was not just one man, but all of those around him who fought for what they thought was right. The story is smart, it is about baseball, but about the people and time as well, and does all of it very well. The audience responded very well, cheering in parts that were strong and struck a chord with everyone watching. 42 is a wonderful movie that I think is a great story that needed to be told.

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The-Reviewer.net

Scatter My Ashes At Bergdorf’s Movie Review

Star Trek Into Darkness Movie Review

Iron Man 3 Movie Review

Oblivion Movie Review

Trance Movie Review

A Place Beyond The Pines Movie Review

42 Movie Review

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