Tomorrowland

Tomorrowland Poster

Before you read this review you should know that my most favorite place in the entire world that I have experienced, is Tomorrowland at Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom.  So A movie inspired by my most favorite place in the world is going to be a little biased.  I just thought I should give you fair warning.

So right out of the gate Space Mountain is in the skyline of Tomorrowland.  We see it very early on and I get excited.  The amount of Disney nerd glee in the first 20 minutes of this movie is high.  The future, the 1964 world’s fair, which was a milestone for Walt Disney, Jet Packs, and Tomorrowland.  It all hits you right of the gate and you are just dying to find out more.  Then the plot starts to unfold.

It has robots, toys, pins, rockets, interdimensional portals, and a whole lot of other future goodness, and for the most part the plot is pretty good.   The movie is beautiful and moves along fairly well for the most part.  It is exciting, funny, and very well done.  The CG is top notch and everyone in the family will be entertained by this movie.  But…but but…I have soooooo many questions.

How was this done, why did that happen.  How did he become the guy.   Who, what, why, where, how.  This I am sure is just my super nerd brain and love of movies colliding with my super nerd brain’s love for the Disney parks, but I want so much more.

By the end of the movie I was loving the story and the message, and letting the questions fall away as I was getting wrapped up in everything going on.  To be able to let all of that go and just watch the movie is saying a lot.  I am very happy with it and I will watch it many more times I am sure.  Everyone will have a good time with Tomorrowland, but I want so much more.  At 2 hours and 10 minutes it already has a lot in it, but not enough for me.  I am sure it is not something most people will notice or care about.

4 Stars

Mad Max: Fury Road

Mad Max Fury Road Poster

There is a part of me that wants to know what was going on in this movie outside of the cars, trucks, fire and guitars.  Like is this a sequel to the other movies?  Who is this bad guy?  Are all these tribes enemies?  Are they refining gasoline somewhere?  What is with the blood bank?  I have a lot of questions.

So Mad Max: Fury Road is exactly the movie that you expect it to be.  It’s got cars, trucks, fire and guitars.  They are going across the land and there are explosions and fights, and guns, and guys on sticks, and people with no hair, or clothes.  There is no water and they are traveling one way for a reason.  That reason, I could not tell you, but they have to get there, and they have to survive.

This is pretty much the whole movie.  There is one or two sentences spoken that makes tries to help you understand the next 20 minute action sequence you are about to see.  Then there are cars, trucks, fire and guitars.  Then another set of sentences.  It is very fun, very well shot and worth watching.  Does it make much sense?  Not even close.  I could not even tell you what the reason was for a lot of the things I saw on screen.  I think that might be why Mad Max: Fury Road is a fun movie.  It doesn’t answer those questions.  It just did what it wanted, and made it entertaining enough that you don’t need to know the rest of the stuff.  You can just watch it and have fun, and maybe when you get home you can look up what actually happened.

4 Stars

Hot Pursuit

Hot Persuit Poster

Rated: PG-13

Nudity: None

I was excited.  I find Sofia Vergara quite funny on Modern Family and I have always liked Reese.  So I figured that this would would be pretty good.  I figured it would at least be fun.  A new attempt at a woman’s action comedy that didn’t have Melissa McCarthy in it.

It was none of those things.  It felt like a horrible sitcom style show put into movie format.  With weak jokes that were geared toward the lowest common denominator.  I was clearly in the minority however because the audience loved it.  Laughing and in the comments afterward everyone said they thought it was hilarious.   To me it felt weak, poorly put together, rushed, and having a real weak plot that did not make much sense.  Which is fine for a comedy if it is funny.  Neither leading lady felt like they had the feel for this movie down and it just didn’t work for me.  I think I laughed twice in the whole movie.  These two did not work together and it shows through painful jokes and slow scenes that are strung together by the supposed plot that felt like it was put together by the action comedy dart board.

I am so sad to say this because I wanted to like this movie but this is a complete skip.  No matinee, no money should be spent on this movie at all.  It wasn’t even worth the free Hot Pursuit branded nail file I got the screening.

1 Star for Hot Pursuit

Avengers: Age Of Ultron

Avengers: Age Of Ultron Poster

 

Lets start by saying this movie is good enough to pay for, everyone that sees it should like it, and there is no need to pay for 3-D or watch it in 3-D.  This is your simple movie review, that this movie didn’t break anything, and you will have a fun time with it.  If you want to hear my complaints about it, and the things I have thought about more and more as I nerd out on the movie then you can keep reading.

Ok on with the nitpicking that made this movie just a 3.  Ultron is weird.  I don’t mean weird in a AI robot that wants to rule.  I mean weird like he has a mouth.  He has feelings, like neurotic feelings.  He thinks far too simply for a hive mind robot AI system.  He wants to end all life on earth in a very simple, way.  I don’t mean simple like efficient, I mean simple, like caveman.  He doesn’t think like a robot, he doesn’t act like a robot, and he for sure does not seem like threat that needed the whole team together for.   The first Avengers had a big problem.  This Avengers, they could of done it with Banner and Stark, till the last scene.

Everything about this movie was less than the first.  Everyone is comfortable, and they are just going through the motions for the most part.  The threat is smaller, the stories are all wrapped up, everything seemed too simple.  It was only a super hero movie, and did not deal with the complexities of being those super heroes for the most part.  This left a big hole for me, that they have been doing so well in other Marvel movies.

They also have a different Quicksilver then from Days Of Future Past Quicksilver, which bothered me, and I don’t mean the actor, because I can be ok with different actors.  I mean this was a completely different guy, he dressed different, acted different had an accent.  It really bothered me, and my super dream of full movie storyline integration, like comic books.  It really felt like they disregarded that character (which I liked much better than the Avengers Quicksilver).

So all of these things, are minor.  They just have kind of drilled on my mind for the last few days and are coming out now.  I do not think most of these things will bother most people, but Avengers is a high bar, and because of these things I do not think they met that bar.

3 Stars

The Water Diviner Movie Review

The Water Diviner Poster

One Sentence: Slow but worth it for the realism.

Rated: R

Nudity: None

I would suspect most of you have not even heard about this movie coming out this weekend.  With everyone looking forward to The Avengers kicking off the Summer season, not many are looking at what is coming out this week.  Well The Water Diviner is coming out this week.  A movie about World War I and a man who has lost everything because of it.

This movie is 2 hours long and fills almost every moment with talking, coffee drinking, traveling, and markets.  There is very few action scenes, so don’t expect that type of movie.  The movie is about the long journey to find what was lost, for a man who could find water in the middle of the desert.  It is carefully put together, slow, full of talking and pretty good at what it does.  If you are willing to put in the work of not having a super hero punch something for 2 hours then The Water Diviner is a pretty good movie.  It has some odd parts, like the last 2 minutes I did not love, and some other scenes that felt a little out of place.  These are forgivable for a movie at least trying to step away from men in tights.

Should you go see it in the theater though?  I would say probably not for most people, unless you love obscure history of World War I or have a Russell Crowe fetish, you can probably wait on this one the home viewing option of your choosing.  It is a fine film, but it is not worth the amount for 2 people to pay full price for.

3 Stars for The Water Diviner

Get Hard Movie Review

Get Hard Poster

One Sentence: Get funnier.

Rated: R

Nudity: Boobs and Wangs

I think Get funnier might be a bit too harsh, because I did laugh watching this movie.  It was a funny movie, but I didn’t think it was a hilarious movie.  I didn’t love it.  I felt like there were some slow parts of it.  So I guess Get Funnier was a bit too harsh.  I had a hard time coming up with one sentence to say about this movie.   Easily forgotten.   Funny sometimes.

I think that Hart and Ferrell didn’t work well together.  It just didn’t gel for me.  There was something stopping it from really working, it is very hard to put my finger on it.  It just was an OK movie.  I think that is the full extent of it.  It had some funny parts, but was almost 2 hours long and it just had some parts that could have been slimmed down.  They tried a little too hard in some parts, and just try hard enough in others.  It felt like it wasn’t thought out, and they didn’t use their edit button enough.  They could have cut some things and still gotten the story right, and kept the pacing up to keep it funny without slowing down.

It was entertaining and I had a good time watching it, I just will not really remember it later.  I won’t watch it again and I would be a little upset if  I paid full movie price for it.  I think it is at least something to see this weekend, since there is so little to watch in theaters right now.  So a matinee viewing might be worth it for those who love Kevin Hart of Will Ferrell.  Everyone else I think can rent it.

3 Stars

Cinderella

Cinderella Poster

One Sentence: Watch the Disney animated version instead.

Rated: PG

Nudity: None

After Credits: None

The difference between Alice In Wonderland and Cinderella is that there is so much in Alice In Wonderland, so you can get away with it being a live action movie.  Cinderella has almost no story.  We all know it and unless you change a lot or add a lot there is not enough there to carry a full movie.  Even the animated movie feels a little weak, but they have the advantages of being made in 1950 and being a cartoon, so it can get away with a little bit less plot.

This 2015 version feels cold, empty, and boring. It is almost literally the Animated movie version with just a few more characters, a little less magic and Cate Blanchett being amazing.  Without her being an amazing evil stepmother, this movie would of been complete garbage.  It is beautiful, Disney brought together their normal flare for visually amazing things.  However that was not enough to retell the story of a girl who lives with her stepmother, goes to a ball, and marries a prince.

This was really the fault of whoever thought that this movie should of even been live action.   Jungle Book, yes.  Beauty and the Beast, sure.  Peter Pan, been done many times.   These work because there is a lot to tell.  Cinderella felt like it had to fill time just to make it to the end of the movie, and the story already isn’t very good.  So you combine all of that together and this movie just was doomed to fail before it was ever made.

So you do not have to rush out by the last strike of 12 to catch Cinderella in the theater.  There is nothing here for you to have to pay the big bucks for.  I wouldn’t even really rent it.  You have seen it all before in one of the many other better versions of Cinderella out there.

2 stars fir Cinderella




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