The Water Diviner Movie Review

The Water Diviner Poster

One Sentence: Slow but worth it for the realism.

Rated: R

Nudity: None

I would suspect most of you have not even heard about this movie coming out this weekend.  With everyone looking forward to The Avengers kicking off the Summer season, not many are looking at what is coming out this week.  Well The Water Diviner is coming out this week.  A movie about World War I and a man who has lost everything because of it.

This movie is 2 hours long and fills almost every moment with talking, coffee drinking, traveling, and markets.  There is very few action scenes, so don’t expect that type of movie.  The movie is about the long journey to find what was lost, for a man who could find water in the middle of the desert.  It is carefully put together, slow, full of talking and pretty good at what it does.  If you are willing to put in the work of not having a super hero punch something for 2 hours then The Water Diviner is a pretty good movie.  It has some odd parts, like the last 2 minutes I did not love, and some other scenes that felt a little out of place.  These are forgivable for a movie at least trying to step away from men in tights.

Should you go see it in the theater though?  I would say probably not for most people, unless you love obscure history of World War I or have a Russell Crowe fetish, you can probably wait on this one the home viewing option of your choosing.  It is a fine film, but it is not worth the amount for 2 people to pay full price for.

3 Stars for The Water Diviner

Get Hard Movie Review

Get Hard Poster

One Sentence: Get funnier.

Rated: R

Nudity: Boobs and Wangs

I think Get funnier might be a bit too harsh, because I did laugh watching this movie.  It was a funny movie, but I didn’t think it was a hilarious movie.  I didn’t love it.  I felt like there were some slow parts of it.  So I guess Get Funnier was a bit too harsh.  I had a hard time coming up with one sentence to say about this movie.   Easily forgotten.   Funny sometimes.

I think that Hart and Ferrell didn’t work well together.  It just didn’t gel for me.  There was something stopping it from really working, it is very hard to put my finger on it.  It just was an OK movie.  I think that is the full extent of it.  It had some funny parts, but was almost 2 hours long and it just had some parts that could have been slimmed down.  They tried a little too hard in some parts, and just try hard enough in others.  It felt like it wasn’t thought out, and they didn’t use their edit button enough.  They could have cut some things and still gotten the story right, and kept the pacing up to keep it funny without slowing down.

It was entertaining and I had a good time watching it, I just will not really remember it later.  I won’t watch it again and I would be a little upset if  I paid full movie price for it.  I think it is at least something to see this weekend, since there is so little to watch in theaters right now.  So a matinee viewing might be worth it for those who love Kevin Hart of Will Ferrell.  Everyone else I think can rent it.

3 Stars


Cinderella Poster

One Sentence: Watch the Disney animated version instead.

Rated: PG

Nudity: None

After Credits: None

The difference between Alice In Wonderland and Cinderella is that there is so much in Alice In Wonderland, so you can get away with it being a live action movie.  Cinderella has almost no story.  We all know it and unless you change a lot or add a lot there is not enough there to carry a full movie.  Even the animated movie feels a little weak, but they have the advantages of being made in 1950 and being a cartoon, so it can get away with a little bit less plot.

This 2015 version feels cold, empty, and boring. It is almost literally the Animated movie version with just a few more characters, a little less magic and Cate Blanchett being amazing.  Without her being an amazing evil stepmother, this movie would of been complete garbage.  It is beautiful, Disney brought together their normal flare for visually amazing things.  However that was not enough to retell the story of a girl who lives with her stepmother, goes to a ball, and marries a prince.

This was really the fault of whoever thought that this movie should of even been live action.   Jungle Book, yes.  Beauty and the Beast, sure.  Peter Pan, been done many times.   These work because there is a lot to tell.  Cinderella felt like it had to fill time just to make it to the end of the movie, and the story already isn’t very good.  So you combine all of that together and this movie just was doomed to fail before it was ever made.

So you do not have to rush out by the last strike of 12 to catch Cinderella in the theater.  There is nothing here for you to have to pay the big bucks for.  I wouldn’t even really rent it.  You have seen it all before in one of the many other better versions of Cinderella out there.

2 stars fir Cinderella

Jupiter Ascending

Jupiter Ascending Poster

One Sentence: Channing Tatum is a blonde haired, winged, wolf hybrid.

Rated: PG-13

Nudity: Booty

After Credits: None

First let me start off by saying that the screening we had was blurry, they could not fix it.  So I do not have the quality of the visuals to help save this review.  It really bothered me though out the whole movie. It was hard to see the background in any scene, and I think a big part of this movie was the visual quality of it.

So you have probably seen the trailers for Jupiter Ascending coming out this weekend, not in the summer when it was supposed to.  The claim was to finish the special effects, which is entirely possible, or it was to fix this movie to make it at least watchable.  Jupiter Ascending is at least watchable.  It was the most middle of the road, didn’t offend for the most part but didn’t deliver anything movie I have seen in a long time.  The thing that is really sad about it, is it has an amazing back story, that we don’t learn about, and could of been something that people really enjoyed and would like to see more of.  Instead we have space boots that let you roller blade in the sky, and blonde Channing Tatum.

This movie isn’t even sci-fi, I would say.  It does take place in space, and is fiction, but there is so much action, so little acting, story, or plot that it really is just almost a non-stop action movie with a background in space.  It was a real let down.  I don’t need a super long space fight, I need to know more about this family, the story of the genetics, and all the other stuff that was glossed over for more chases in bird spaceships.

Bad acting helped drive this movie further into the dumpster.  Eddie Redmayne was especially terrible.  I just don’t think being the main villain is his thing.  It all felt so lost with what it wanted to do.  Space epic, but only by name.  An movie of epic scale in space, without delivering anything else that should go along with that.  While you should make it through this movie.  It is such a let down, that it makes it worse than it really is.  It is an ok movie, but it is far worse when you think about what it could have been.

2 Stars Jupiter Ascending

American Sniper

American Sniper

One Sentence: This should have only been an action movie.

Rated: R

Nudity: None

After Credits: None

American Sniper was announced as one of the nominees for Best Picture this morning by The Academy Of Motion Picture and Sciences.  So I guess this review is going to disagree with them a little bit.  This does feel like one of those movies that everyone loves for the sake of not wanting to say they didn’t love it in the presence of others.  It is quite the Red, White and Blue movie.

I thought this movie was a good movie.  The action and war scenes were well shot, and very scary and real.  Bradley Cooper in these scenes and as this character dealing with the PTSD through 4 tours to the Middle East, was excellent.  However the home life scenes were short, and an aside to the war scenes.  I feel like they really left out some important points about the struggle of war, and how it affects families and the men and women who served.  It implies that suddenly you will be fixed, with a single talk to a doctor.  This is where my problem lies.  It should have been left out, or dealt with more thoroughly.   It makes it feel like his struggle in the real world, wasn’t a struggle at all, just a small bump in the road, that he recovered from quickly.  Which I think is a disservice to all those who suffer with this today.

So we get these short scenes at home and with the family that are glances of a harder life than those at War.  They are brushed by and the main focus is war and sniping and his tours.  I think it would of been a stronger movie if this was balanced out or left out completely.  So because of those reasons it is not getting an amazing review from me.  It was a good movie, it was well done, but not of of the best of the year.



Selma Poster

One Sentence: A history lesson

Rated: R

Nudity: None

After Credits: None

This is a pretty easy review.  This movie is excellent.  David  Oyelowo is excellent.  That is all I really need to write.

The movie is a perfectly timed story for those younger than I am, who were not alive when this event occurred.  I am a under educated white male, and I had heard references to Selma, and knew it was a pivotal moment in the Civil Rights movement, but I was not fully aware of what it was about or what occurred.  I am aware that this is a movie, and that there is no requirement for this movie to be accurate, but there is enough here for me to actually learn and educate myself further about this event, and I have.

The movie deals with the violence and injustices that occurred at Selma, it isn’t just a movie about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  It has a amazing cast, and is powerful and meaningful.  It feels like it is a perfect movie for the times, and it is something that will make us think about what is happening today, and remind us that history repeats itself.  It is a hard to watch movie, but that was the intention of Selma, and it is done very effectively.  I think this movie is something that everyone should see.

5 Stars for Selma

Inherent Vice

Inherent Vice Poster

One Sentence: I am not sure what is going on in this one.

Rated: R

Nudity: Yes

After Credits: None

Um…I am not sure what happened with this one.  There are all these flashy things, that are pulling in all these directions and it sounds exciting, and smart.  The kind of things that make you want to act like you know what is going on so that everyone around you doesn’t think you are an idiot, but in reality everyone is lost.  Boats, Dentists, Runaways, prostitutes, FBI, drugs, kidnappings, and this and that and the other.  It all just leads to some funny scenes that are not really going to make much sense at the end.

I would say that I liked Inherent Vice, or some of Inherent Vice.  I did think it was funny in some parts.  I did like the acting for the most part, and I did like some scenes.  I liked the relaxed feel of everybody, weaving in and out of each others lives and stories.  I thought that was well done, but with that ease came a loss of what the hell was going on.  By the end of the movie I was watching resolutions, that I understood, but I did not know how we got to those resolutions.  Since I enjoyed the scenes so much that led to these resolutions, not knowing how we got to them is I suspect bad writing.

I think this movie was saved by the actors ddeliveringthe best they could with what they had.  It fell down with delivering a full story, and makes for a less than amazing movie experience.  I think this one in a rental for those that really love anyone that worked on this movie, but I think most people can stay away from it.

2 Stars

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